A Little Affirmation Goes a Long Way
Affirmations are powerful communication tools we use to lift up others. They are ways to provide emotional support and validation and give a sense of belonging. These affirmations create trust among individuals and can lead to a more positive sense of self.
Affirmations are even more powerful when we’re mindful of what and how we’re delivering them. Research by Shelly Gable and Harry Reis on Active Constructive Responding (ACR) provides a useful framework. ACR is a tactful way of responding when someone shares a piece of good news that will amplify their excitement and happiness. When responding using ACR, we should aim to respond with enthusiasm and questions that will lead to the person re-experiencing that joy (for example, asking someone how they feel about the news they are sharing or to share details about the moment). Gable and Reis’ research shows that if we use ACR in conversations with people, they are likely to feel an increase in positive emotions about themselves and decrease feelings of loneliness.
However, when someone shares an experience that has brought them stress or hurt, responding with a micro-affirmation is the better tool and, when used correctly, can significantly enhance feelings of comfort. According to Candice Powell and her research team at Chapel Hill, a micro-affirmation is a small act that can signify and foster feelings of care, inclusion, and comfort. These are most useful when we listen, validate one’s experience, and turn hurt into empowerment. A micro-affirmation can look like asking qualifying questions, showing the willingness to assist in thinking through the future, and offering words of encouragement.
It’s important to remember that active listening is a critical aspect of affirming others. Understanding that each individual has their own experiences that influence their feelings and emotions can provide insight into the type of affirmations to provide to one another. For affirmations to have a significant impact, they have to be meaningful to whoever is receiving them. Intentional affirmation, whether given through ACR or micro-affirmations, requires individuals to take the time to hear the experiences of others and respond based on their emotions and what they need at the time.
The online Backrs platform gives proteges and adults a unique opportunity to engage in a safe space and share stories in moments of joy or stress while allowing others the time to respond in the most constructive and comforting ways. The intentionality behind our specific questions that can re-ignite happiness or our small moments to respond with validation and empowerment can impact someone’s day-to-day sense of self. These continuous moments of affirmations over a long period of time will lead to a more positive self-image and individual achievement of long-term goals. Little affirmations, delivered with meaning, go a long way.